Mistakes to Avoid When Asking A Girl Out

Knowing how to impress a girl is often not enough.  If you want to be successful you need to know the pitfalls and how to avoid them.  This chapter will tell you more about the pitfalls to avoid.

Negative Thinking

Whether you consciously or unconsciously allow yourself to think negative thoughts, it will show up in your body language.  If your date is perceptive enough to read your body language or picks up on your negativity through your conversation, that alone will put your date off.  In many cases it can also prevent you from asking girls out on a date.  The only one that can get rid of that negativity is you.  You need to concentrate on what you have got, and your best features and eliminate the negative thoughts to improve your self-confidence.

Don’t Chase a Girl Who Is Not Interested In You

One of the worst mistakes you can make is to keep pushing for a date when the girl has already turned you down.  If she really isn’t interested in you and you keep pushing she could perceive that you are stalking her.  That could become a serious problem and get you into a lot of trouble.

You need to take what she is saying at face value and if she rejects your request for a date, back off.  You need to turn your attentions elsewhere.

You need to be perceptive to whether the girl is interested, but is just playing hard to get by saying no when you first ask her out.  If she starts ignoring you, and try’s to avoid your company, you can be pretty sure she meant no when she said it.  If she doesn’t try and avoid you, or continues to talk to you, it might be worth waiting a while and trying again.

Control your Insecurity and Jealousy

Another often unforgivable mistake is to become jealous and insecure about your relationship.  If you start being moody when she talks to other blokes, or you complain about her spending time with her girlfriends, you are on a slippery slope.  Once it starts it usually only gets worse.  You need to constantly remind yourself that your girl is not your possession, and she is with you because she wants to be.

Fear of Rejection

Rejection by a girl can dent your self-confidence and your ego.  Usually if it’s just your ego, you already think a lot of yourself and will convince yourself that it was her and not you, so no real harm done.

On the other hand, if your self-confidence takes a real knock you may find it harder to get up the courage to ask another girl out.  You can always talk it through with someone you really trust that can help you to see it is not the end of the world and support you while you move on.  The longer you leave it to move on, the harder it will be.

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Five Rules for Asking a Girl Out

It can be quite nerve racking to decide on the best way to ask a girl out.  You need to consider a number of things, but these are the five rules you should always remember.

Do Not Call Her Immediately

Once you have your hands on the girl’s phone number, don’t call her straight away.  If you appear too eager, she may think you are pressurizing her, and she may be put off you altogether.

Give her time to get used to the idea that you will be phoning her, but don’t leave it too long or someone else may beat you to it.  Usually, waiting for twenty-four to forty-eight hours is best.

Do Not Ask Her for a Date Straight Away

When you do get around to phoning, don’t just jump into asking her out on a date.  Spend some time chatting about life in general, or a topic that interests you both.  If your instincts are telling you that you need to get to know each other a bit better before dating, arrange to meet for coffee or a lunch just as friends.

Alternatively, if you are arranging any type of group get together, you tell her she is welcome to come along. That way, you are not actually inviting her on a date, but it gives you the opportunity to get to know her better if she does come. 

Make Your Date More Fun than Stress    

Some people can make such a big deal out of their first date, they forget to have fun.  Your girl will be much more impressed if you are relaxed and can show her that you are enjoying her company and whatever it is you are doing.

If you are stressing out about making sure the date is a success, you are likely to be trying too hard and that doesn’t create a good impression and can be just as bad as being over-confident and blasé about the situation.

When choosing a venue or activity for your first date stick to something within your comfort zone.  You will have enough nervous energy to contend with, without having the stress that comes from dealing with a new environment or activity at the same time.

Just Tell Her Your Plans Instead Of Asking Her

It is very easy to get it wrong when you are choosing what to do and where to go on a first date.  Someone has to take the initiative, and that should be you.  Have some ideas in mind of what you would like to do, but tell your date what you're thinking about.  Providing she does not object or make alternative suggestions, you should go ahead and make the arrangements.

If your suggestions do not meet with your girl’s approval, ask her what she would like to do instead.  You may both need to compromise to find something you both want to do.

Depending on how well you have gotten to know each other, it will improve your chances of arranging dates that will meet with her approval.  You will soon learn whether she is happy to let you go ahead with arrangements for your dates without first consulting her. 

Many girls these days expect an equal say in the decisions, and if they don’t get it, they may perceive you as being domineering and controlling.   On the other hand, there are still a few girls around who are happy to leave all the decisions to you.

Convince Your Girl

Your first date gives you the opportunity to gather information about your girl and decide if you are likely to be compatible if you continue dating.  Just as she is examining you and forming an opinion, you need to do the same with her personality.  If you find that your opinions are conflicting about the small unimportant things, then you may have serious differences when it comes to the important life decisions.  Compromising may not be an option unless both parties are willing.

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Ideas for Being Romantic

If you want to ask a girl out on a date, you should approach her with some style and romance.  The advice in this chapter will help you to bring out the romantic side of your personality.

Having a girl as a friend is one thing; it is the moving on to a romantic relationship that can be the difficult part.  Making a smooth transition will be easy if you approach it in the right way.  What you say, and the way you behave, when you ask a girl out, can be the key to your success or your failure.

Don’t be Afraid to Show your Feminine Side or Caring Nature

If you are really interested in a girl, you need to let her know.  That often means toning down your ‘macho’ attitude and behavior and letting her see you have a softer and more caring nature.  If you come across as having too much testosterone, you risk frightening or turning the girl off, and she will make excuses not to go out with you.

Many of the male populations are reluctant to admit that they have a feminine side, especially in front of other males.  However, the best way to get the girl to go out on a date is to show her you do have a sensitive and caring nature.  If you do this, and she continues to turn you down, then you should forget her and find another girl to ask out.

Believe in Yourself

You may not be the most attractive male on the planet, but you may not be the ugliest.  You need to be strong in the belief that you do have something to offer a girl.  However, you do need to find the right balance between being self-confident or being over-bearing, if you want to be successful in attracting the girl.

If like most males starting out on the dating game, you think you don’t have a romantic bone in your body, you may be surprised.  Following a few simple steps can introduce you to your romantic side.

Sit Down and Make a List

If you are not good at remembering things, you can write them down in a list.  Girls are well impressed if you remember their birthday, or special occasions such as anniversaries, without having to be reminded.  The minimum you should do is send her a card, but you will gain a lot more brownie points if you send flowers, chocolates or take her out for a nice meal to celebrate.

You can also use your list to make a note of her likes and dislikes such as does she have a favorite perfume, what is her favorite color and so on?  It will save you a whole lot of grief if you choose something she really likes as a gift for those special occasions.

Make the First Move

Knowing when your relationship with a girl is ready to move on to the next stage can be tricky.  As many girls will be reluctant to take the initiative, it is up to you to make the first move.  If you over-step the mark, by being too passionate too quickly, you can destroy the relationship.  You need to start off by saying goodbye with a wave or a casual kiss on the cheek.  You can hold hands while walking, or while sitting in the cinema.  The more you get to know her the easier you will find it is to read the signs.  She will let you know when she is ready to progress the relationship.

Communication

Communication plays a very important part in any relationship.  It is an excellent tool that provides the opportunity for the couple to find out what makes each other tick.  The conversations should be natural and should be geared as much to listen and learning, as they are about talking.  Initially, the girl may appear to be shy or unwilling to talk about herself, talking about interests or hobbies you have in common will help her to relax.

You can try to draw her out by asking questions.  However, you should take care that you don’t make her feel like she is being interrogated.

Be There for Her When She Needs You

If your girl is upset for any reason, or just feels unwell, you need to bring out your caring side and be there for her.  You may not be able to do anything to cure a physical ailment, but you can provide emotional support.  Just by being there and listening shows that you really care and that can help to improve her emotional state.

Make Sure She Notices You

There is little point in you wasting your time and energy putting on a show for a girl, is she doesn’t even know you are there.  You need to make sure your actions involve something she is interested in and ask her to get involved or to give you her opinion on what you intend doing.  Unfortunately for some, that does mean you need to talk to her and get to know her first, before trying to impress.

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